The Need for A Witness

The other day someone came to see me in my office in Central London. . As we talked and it was very evident that deep down she knew what to do. The things was she needed to do was get on with her creative project and keep up her effort each and every day.  She knew that too. Anything less than this would be a version and distraction strategy.

As we discussed, it suddenly dawned on both of us that all  she really needed was a witness. She wanted someone to be accountable to. She wanted  to say to someone, "I  have done this." She wanted to say, I have worked on the project today.  Most of all, she needed her effort to be noticed.

It occurs to me that is sometimes all we need. We just need someone to witness  frequently if not every day that we are doing the right thing by ourselves and for ourselves, that our efforts are noticed and that effort is part of a growth mindset. Growth means, I have not done it yet. I am in the process. Growth says my learning is organic and I am committed to small steps and I am committed to nudging my way along and learning along the way. We liven commercially and outcome driven  environments that don't really notice this. Credit  is given to the  the hard result.  It works or it does not.  Achievement is  all that counts.. Efforts are ignored and if you can be smart and do it quick and dirty, all the better. The problem with this approach is that it ignores the steps of every day effort along the way. It ignores that creative projects of innovation need encouragement even when there is not very much to show. Simply we need acknowledgement for making the effort at all.

What we need from another human being  is a witness that I am actually doing this. I do not need a lecture, I do not need advice, I do not need their way of doing it. I just need them to notice my effort,That is enough. 

When we provide this support for each other, we contribute to their creation. We don't need to take credit for anything that they produce, we just enjoy the process of contribution towards the supportive environment and witnessing  someone else flourish.

Is there someone in your life that needs you to be  their witness?