Miguel Ruiz many years ago wrote a book called The Four Agreements. All of the agreements are based based on Totlec philosophy.
The agreements require self-reflection, to respond to situations rather than react to them. There is a moment when something triggers us and the trigger comes from the environment or in our own mind. We can react immediately or we can slow down, take a deep breath and respond. It is in that that gap where we can chose differently. When we do, we avoid the trap of going into automatic mode, a mode where we have no choice but to run on old fear based programmes.
The agreements are described below. If we make them active questions that these can be tools for mindful living. Asking them every day reminds us of the very things that can sabotage us: self-judgement , judgment of others, not being present and not being aware. These descriptive paragraph below is taken from Ruiz's book The Four Agreements:
We spoke to Cathy Dixon a therapist, but not as you know them. She is a coach and a mentor who founded Energy Roots after being trained in several healing modalities including Shiatsu, acupuncture, Chi Kung and hypnotherapy.Cathy came to our studio and we spoke about the narratives imposed on our lives by institutions, by others and even by ourselves. We learned of the wonders of the energy nodes in the human body, how beliefs are attached to emotions and the myopic mistake of talking about good and bad energies. All in all, a stimulating and cathartic converstion which now you can listen to. With Andre López Turner and Juan Toledo
I was recently introduced to Carol Dwek's work on Growth versus the fixed mindset. Firstly the mind is not set at all, it is plastic and can make all sorts of connections through the neural pathways. It only becomes fixed through education and attitudinal conditioning.
A fixed mindset focuses on results rather than the process. It sees life in black and white terms of winners and losers. It has an uneasy relationship with failure. It is best summed up with these sayings:
Either you have got it or you don't ,
You either win or your lose,
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
Results are all that matters
You are born smart or you aren't
A growth mindset is concerning with learning and understanding. It welcomes feedback. It realises that attitude and effort determine our results. It sees failure as part of the learning process.
It prefers sayings such as:
I can't do this..yet
Tell me where I can improve
What have I learnt today
Where there is a will, there is a way
There is not failure, there is only feedback.
A healthy mind is a growth mind because it fosters adaptability, flexibility and non self judgement. It innovates, and changes day by day. It focuses on how we can improve, how we can growth and how we can enable and therefore is intrinsically connected to mental and emotional resilience.